First
A carpenter, he explained distinctions
between wood grains, planing my
seventeen year old skin with his palm.
But I lost the words, taken instead
by how touch could undo me. The air
smelled of mangos that June night, sharp,
burningly sweet. Or maybe that was me,
my white painter’s pants peeled down.
Beside us, the ocean mimicked
my boyfriend’s motion and our breath,
on that treeless beach in Queens,
as I buried what was left of childhood.
~Ona Gritz
***
When the Glass of My Body Broke
Oh, mother of sex,
lady of the staggering cuddle,
where do these hands come from?
A man, a Moby Dick of a man,
a swimmer going up and down in his brain,
the gentleness of wine in his fingertips
where do these hands come from?
I was born a glass baby and nobody picked me up
except to wash the dust off me.
He has picked me up and licked me alive.
Hands
growing like ivy over me,
hands growing out of me like hair,
yet turning into fire grass,
planting an iris in my mouth,
spinning and blue,
the nipples turning into wings,
the lips turning into days that would not give birth,
days that would not hold us in their house,
days that would not wrap us in their secret clasp,
and yet, hands, hands growing out of pictures,
hands crawling out of the walls,
hands that excite oblivion,
like a wind,
a strange wind
from somewhere tropic
making a storm between my blind legs,
letting me lift the mask of the child from my face,
while all the toy villages fall
and I sink softly into
the heartland.
~Anne Sexton
as freedom is a breakfastfood
as freedom is a breakfastfood
or truth can live with right and wrong
or molehills are from mountains made
-long enough and just so long
will being pay the rent of seem
and genius please the talentgang
and water most encourage flame
as hatracks into peachtrees grow
or hopes dance best on bald men's hair
and every finger is a toe
and any courage is a fear
-long enough and just so long
will the impure think all things pure
and hornets wail by children stung
or as the seeing are the blind
and robins never welcome spring
nor flatfolk prove their world is round
nor dingsters die at break of dong
and common's rare and millstones float
-long enough and just so long
tomorrow will not be too late
worms are the words but joy's the voice
down shall go which and up come who
breasts will be breasts and thighs will be thighs
deeds cannot dream what dreams can do
-time is a tree (this life one leaf)
but love is the sky and i am for you
just so long and long enough
ee cummings
not the best last two months i could have hoped for.
but i seem to be crawling out of my self imposed emotional exile, and the work chaos is over, for the most part. all hail december 31! my focus this weekend has been cleaning and organizing (OCD, party of one!), sleeping, and bonding once again with my poor neglected tivo. must really look into upgrading to the 80hr model. . . .
yesterday i managed to do a catch up on some of my tv seasons. medium continues strong for me. i still see this as one of the most overlooked "real" shows there is out there. family issues don't just magically disappear for an hour as mom conquers the world. instead it's both parent juggling kids, work, household, oh and let's be realistic with a couples relationship. (yeah, and by the way, can someone get me one of those cute physic nerdy-types with an accent? kthx) and of course, the crime/mystery/paranormal storyline on top is what always get me. was very pleased to see the return (and alas, departure of) mark sheppard as charles walker. he does creepy evil so well, and my Firefly fan-girl gets to squee and bounce up and down. the rest of the season holds promise as i think thy mean to explore more what exactly has been carried to the next generation.
my tivo surprised me and recorded the pilot episode of ER which must have been on sometime in december. watched it last night, and realized, i don't think i ever saw it. i think i actually started watching with the second episode. this is one of those shows i still quietly watch (hello, goran visnjic), though am not overly a huge "fan" of anymore. it's much more the soap opera, and i'm curious as to what is going to happen. we are definitely at the point of where they are on the fourth go-around of recycling plot ideas. but the pilot was a nice reminder of why the show grabbed us in the first place. and why i still cannot stand george clooney in the least. i also had a good laugh at some of the faces that were in this episode -- migel ferrer making an appearance, and troy evans (seasons later, the curmudgeon frank) as a police officer who shoots himself in the leg. i know he had a totally different name in the episode (despite what imdb says), but i love that hey, it does still work for the future episodes when he comes on board as a retired cop.
jerry from ER will have to be the segway into Men In Trees. which i still feel guilty and ashamed about watching and liking, but damn, i'm glad it looks like they are going to try and make a run of this one. i just have to keep telling myself that is not anne heche. and it works. here's to hoping they can mange to keep the writing strong, and continue to develop and play-up the cast full of quirky characters.
of course abc did piss me of with pulling The Nine. yes, it was not that great, but i think there was potential. and there were all these big looming mysteries (like, what happened in there?), but no, yank it before anything is revealed bastards.
still, not as pissed off as i remain about Invasion and being left with a huge cliff-hanger to end a season. and yet,. they are selling the dvds of the season. assholes! man, i wish that had been on nbc so the sci-fi channel could have scooped it up and run with it.
so that is about it. i still have Doctor Who to catch up on. (still not loving david tennant, but i'm carrying on. did buy myself a giftmas treat of the christopher eccelston season box set. waaaaay too expensive, but chris is worth it.) oh, and Law & Order:SVU continues to carry strong as one of my favorites this season (and something i would actually continue to watch through the chaos of the season). Everest Beyond the Limit was a super reality/documentary series, especially for this little geek who has been obsessed with Everest for over fifteen years now. and of course Heroes, and I still have two big mid-season episodes left to watch. perhaps that will trump the good Doctor for today's slug-about.
The Dark Garden
~Traci Burns
They bloomed, apples on my throat. Hot red, the bruisy throb
of purple. A
path to follow, like crumbs thrown down, but not like
crumbs. Like a trail of
blood leading to a gruesome scene, but not gruesome. As a
teenager I
couldn't kiss a boy without blooming. He'd pluck flowers
from my throat with
his mouth. I don't know where I went.
I liked the dark garden. We liked it. Blossoms dipped with
their own sodden
weight above us. It was like sleeping, but not like
sleeping. It was like being
fully awake inside a dream. Lips and teeth were tools. The
familiar smell of
spit. In the distance, a circle of burning, approaching. But
not approaching.
I miss the narcotic air, the insular boughs. My neck is so
white. Years
have softened the way we touch, have placed hands on our
throats as if to say
easy, easy.
~*~
Did you dress up today? See any good costumes?
don't know if it is really dressing up as it is not a costume, but i am in the holiday mood in my BPTP "Trick" t-shirt:
i know, very cheeky for me to be wearing at work, which is why i have a zipper black hoodie on as well. you can just catch a glimpse of the whip and the "Trick". i'm not sure my boss would know what to think if he saw the sexy imp with the fish-tights. . ..
you know, this whole work thing really gets in the way of me having an inter-life.
first things thing, since i am now in tim gunn withdrawal, here is a great interview with him on the season three PR.
ooh, and another find, Laura's show music! i love that piece.
yes, so i finally watched the final show last weekend, even took notes, and all i can say is Uli was robbed. I know, i can't beleive i'm saying that either. but honestly, that was a collection to me. it still had her signature style, ad what she is good at, but it was amped up to the next level and polished. and that dress that turned into a bikini? damn! makes me wish i took vacations to tropical places.
and obviously i know nothing about fashion, because i don't get what was great and cohesive about Jeffrey's, other than some of the same fabrics being used on more than one piece. and the inspiration was japanese ghost stories? um, how, exactly? didn't see any of it there. except maybe all those uneven hems coming from some chick crawling out of a tv screen too many times. . .
Michael was disappointing -- i think he needs better feedback than what he gets on his own in Atlanta. Laura's collection was just, gah!! holy crap, what an amazing collection! she, too, pushed outside what she had been doing, with tighter and shorter skits, and hey, feathers. maybe it wasn't what was needed to win PR, but there is no denying she is a strong designer with a clear focus on what she wants to do. and good for her. she's going to go far. same with Uli.
. . . .
i also watched something i have been putting off watching for a while last weekend. Doctor Who "The Christmas Invasion." yup, first they break my heart with Nine departing, ad then they go and break the show. what the hell happened to our characters? Rose not being Rose, and I'm sorry, that's not the Doctor. v., v. disappointed. to the point i can't even psych myself up to watch the rest of the series.
(and yes, this is more than just David Tennant not blowing my skirt up like Christopher Eccelston does. really. i mean it.)
. . . .
so now, i think i am gong to unwind from this long week with some more what's on the tivo time.
i'm reserving comment on the winner until i can watch in full and look at each collection. but i assume there is no question of how i actually feel about th result. ::rolls eyes::
but our god Tim Gunn strikes again. from msn.com gossip:
And finally, don't expect Spears to be a guest judge on the upcoming season of "Project Runway." Tim Gunn, the show's Yoda-like and even-handed fashion guru, is uncharacteristically ruthless when asked to weigh in on the Britster's sense of style.
"Aside from looking as though she's just been dragged out from under a truck that tried to run her over, she always looks like she's in need of personal hygiene," Gunn blasts to Us. "The whole package to me is just repugnant. Ugh!"
::sigh:: this quote gives me such a warm and fuzzy feeling.
but 'uncharacteristcally ruthless'? hardly! try honest and to the point. which is why we swoon with teh love.
I've been meaning to talk about NBC's new show Heroes. I spotted this hysterical article up on cnn.money this afternoon, so why not use this to find some goof-off time on vox.
A mangled hand, a 'Heroes' suit, and NBC
NEW YORK (CNNMoney.com) -- NBC is getting sued by a garbage disposal maker that claims the network's new hit show "Heroes" casts its product in a negative light. You can't make this stuff up.
Apparently, the first episode of "Heroes" shows one of the characters, a cheerleader who is blessed with the power of indestructibility (must come in handy when being at the top of those human pyramids), sticking her hand into a garbage disposal and getting it all mangled. A few seconds later her hand heals.
Heroes" has been one of the biggest hits of the new TV season and has helped boost ratings at NBC. (note hot actor n right, and hey, it's Captain Plane Crash from Lost!)
..
In the lawsuit, Emerson claims that NBC used Emerson's trademark without the company's consent and that the show "implies an incorrect and dangerous design for a food waste disposer."
The company added in its complaint that NBC's depiction of the InSinkErator "casts the disposer in an unsavory light, irreparably tarnishing the product."
...
Dan Callahan, spokesman for Emerson, said the company, of course, does not recommend anybody put their hands in a garbage disposal that is turned on.
But he also pointed out that, according to data from the government's Consumer Products Safety Commission, you are actually ten times more likely to get injured by your dishwasher than your garbage disposal.
And I've been told that if you did stick your hand in a garbage disposal (not that I've tried) you would hurt yourself but you would not wind up losing any fingers as was the case with the girl on "Heroes."
So I can see why Emerson would be mad at NBC. The network is merely perpetuating this myth that garbage disposals are a menace to society! Garbage disposals don't chop off people's fingers. People chop off people's fingers.
...
"While we do not believe there is any legal issue with the episode as originally broadcast, we nonetheless have decided to edit the episode for future uses," said an NBC spokesperson in a statement.
...
Now is this just another example of a company seeking publicity and using the court system to do it? Heck, I'm writing about the InSinkErator so if the suit was a PR move, it worked.
And it goes on, with much tongue in cheek; check out the whole thing and get a giggle.
So yes, I have watched the first couple episodes of Heroes and am vaguely intrigued. Okay, I like the attractive Indian guy trying to dicipher his father's work, and hey look, it's the pilot from Lost!
and, yes, my moments of instant recogniztion such as that and immediately identifying Eric Blafour in Conviction as the actor who played Jesse in a handful of episodes of the first season of Buffy (why, 8 years prior) do scare me. i try to chalk it up to photographic memory, but obviosuly I simply watch too much tv.
But so far, for not revealing secrets and making you think, Heroes gets a thumbs up. Though my understanding of Japfanese makes me question the accuracy of the gibberish Hiro and his buddy are using for dialogue, and whether they decided to change what the scrip was as opposed to what the subtitles actually ended up. Plus I swear there was some very feminine language usage on the part of Hiro. which makes no sense given the actors backgroud.
But then again, I only know Japfanese.
